Monday, September 5, 2011

It's Catch Up Time! Part 2

I dropped my husband off at the field that day around noon, and then made a trip to the grocery store. After eating dinner at the ballpark for two months straight, I decided it was officially time for a home cooked meal! (Even if it meant eating after ten o'clock at night.) I got the evening off work and figured I would go all out: baked chicken with a bread crumb layer, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy, and bread. Tyler and I were excited just thinking about it! I went to the game to watch the first few innings and then headed home to begin cooking. In my hopes of timing dinner to be ready just as Tyler was walking in the door, I had my laptop with me in the kitchen, the team website up and running, checking the box score every couple of minutes. All was going smoothly. I was just taking the chicken out of the oven when my phone began to ring. It was Tyler.

"Hey babe," he said in a monotone voice; I could tell something wasn't right, "I'm gonna need you to come get me."
"What? Why?" I asked, "You're supposed to ride home with the guys remember? I'm making our dinner tonight."
"I know," he reassured me, "But the guys are ready to go and well, I have to pack my bags."

When a player is packing his bags, it means one of six things: the team is going on a road trip, the player is injured and will be heading home or to rehab, the player is being released - aka fired, the player is being traded to a different team, the player is being sent down to a lower level, or the player is being promoted to a higher level. My heart sank for half a second, knowing that the reasoning behind Tyler packing his bags, had a five out of six chance of a potentially bad outcome. I took a deep breath.

"Okay," I said, swallowing hard, "Where are we headed?"
"Reading, Pennsylvania!!" he said excitedly, "We got the call to Double A!!" :)

After we got home from the field and ate our not-so-fresh, microwave-reheated dinner, we went into our room to figure out the next few days. I sat on the bed and watched powerlessly as Tyler packed his bags. You see, when a player gets moved, he has about a 10-15 hour window to gather his belongings and get on his flight. I think I'll call it the wife-prohibited flight. Ha! Not really of course, but trust me, no wife gets on that plane with her husband. Nope, we are left behind to do the dirty work.

The next day I took Tyler to the airport and headed back to the apartment. I had laundry to do, sheets to wash, dishes to clean, a bathroom to scrub, the carpet to vacuum... the list seemed endless. I wanted to leave the room spotless for the next guy that moved in. I also had to get our name off the lease, which ended up being a brief nightmare. Luckily, I managed to get us out of it with no problems. Once all of that was finished, I began packing everything up; that's when I became discouraged. We packed way too much stuff for me to handle by myself. I needed help! (Let me guess, you're thinking the guys that still lived there could help me right? Wrong. Not because they're jerks, but because their schedule never stops; they still had to be at the field all day, every day.) I took time out from what I was doing and began to pray. I prayed for energy, enthusiasm, courage, strength, serenity, and for a better ability to trust in God to direct my path through this. Within an hour, my phone rang.

"Hi Honey! How are you doing? I was thinking about you and how hard it must be to do this part on your own. Do you need help?" It was one of Clearwater's season ticket holders whom we had met and gotten very close with this year! I was so so unbelievably thankful to hear from her, but I stubbornly replied,
"Oh you are too sweet, but no, I'm doing okay. Thank you though." She didn't believe me one bit.
"How about you come over and I'll make us a late lunch? Then we can go back to your apartment, pack up your things, load up your car, and even make it out to the game tonight!" I let out a deep breath and felt every muscle in my body relax.
"That sounds wonderful actually," I replied.
Thank you God.

It was 5:00AM. The gas tank was full, and the car was packed to the roof. The trunk, floor, back seat, and front seat, had all downright vanished and were fully taken over by boxes, bags, and suitcases. Every single nook and cranny in our car was being used. I stood there staring, wondering how in the world we managed to fit all of this and more in our car, including my husband, on the way to spring training? I figured the answer must be that Tyler is just a heck of a lot better at packing the car than I am. Even the lady who came to help me pack the day before sent a huge package of our stuff home for us. It was just not going to fit. I closed the door, started the car, and reconnected with my sometimes best friend, other times biggest frustration of my life, GPS. It would be in my face for the next 1085.47 miles. "Please be good to me," I thought as I turned it on.

I did it in two days. Day one took me ten hours, day two took me eight. My stopping point was Raleigh, NC where I actually got to stay with my sister for a night. It was so good to see her and she really kept my spirits high. Day two came early the next morning and ended in Reading, PA that afternoon. I was sent instructions via text message of what to do when I got in, because of course, the guys would already be at the field. I pulled up to my new home - a hotel. I walked in, showed the front desk my ID, and was handed a room key. After I carefully managed to grab a couple things out of the car without an avalanche affect, I headed to our room. Two double beds and an obnoxious air conditioner. Oh joy.

I went to the game that night and was so relieved to see Tyler again. I felt protected, calm, and relaxed in him arms. My journey by myself was finally over. We headed back to the hotel and sat up discussing living situations. Usually, when a player is moved up in an organization, it's because someone was either moved up on the team above him, injured, traded, or released. For example: Say a player in the majors gets injured. He will be put on the disabled list and then the team might call up a player from Triple A for an extra body. Then, someone from Double A gets moved up to Triple A, someone from Single A gets moved up to AA, and so on. This makes finding a new place to live easy because the guys just end up where ever the last guy was living. For us, it didn't work that way; no one had moved. All that we had offered to us was a living room in an apartment with three other guys. I told Tyler that was fine with me; we had nowhere else to go and could literally not afford living in a hotel all month. He thought otherwise.
"We'll figure something out. We'll just stay here at the hotel for a few days," he said.

I felt like I should take matters into my own hands because Tyler still had to be at the field everyday. (Surely he had good intentions, but I figured he couldn't do much about it there.) I went to the stadium and talked to the front office staff. I asked them if they had host families or anyone that could take us in for a while until we had somewhere to go; I got a harsh reply, "No." Apparently in Double A we should be able to afford our own housing by ourselves. Um? Sorry we didn't get the memo, or the paycheck to prove that. I began searching Craigslist and found nothing. However I did come to the conclusion that their website is mostly scam artists these days. I talked to people at the field, the city's Chamber of Commerce and the city's Visitors Bureau... no luck with those either. Boy was I becoming discouraged again, but this time, I was ready to cry. What would anyone do in this situation? Call Mom. :)

Best. Idea. Ever.

My mom is the most amazing lady in the world! Her and my dad are such role models to Tyler and I in every way possible. She told me that I better get my butt to church. She's so smart. I got off the phone and Googled Catholic churches around town. There were many, but I decided on one. I pulled up and took a few deep breaths as I hesitated; I have never felt more vulnerable. I walked in and explained our situation. (Trust me, asking for help is a lot harder than it sounds.)

"My husband plays for the Reading Phillies. We just got into town this week and we are looking for a place to stay. I was hoping maybe a family in the church could take us in for a bit, at least until we find something else. We will pay them, help with utility bills, buy our own groceries, we just need a bed and bathroom really."

The people at the church were amazing! They made me feel so welcome and at home. I left my info with them and received a call right away. I knew after talking to this sweet, yet spunky, old lady that she was going to be our perfect match. (She's going to kill me for calling her an old lady though; 84 is still young.) We made arrangements to meet her at the church the next day, that way she could decide there if she wanted to invite us back to her house to live. Apparently, we passed her test and everything about our new living situation was wonderful!

So wonderful in fact, that it is now September 5th and we are still living here! We have absolutely loved every minute of it! Her and I have honestly become best of friends this summer. We laugh so hard together and it is one of the best feelings ever, just her and I laughing. I go to water aerobics with her and I've met all her old lady friends. We have gone to church together and I take her out to eat every so often. I have learned a lot about her life, as she has learned a lot about mine. She makes sure to tell me every now and then that she would never, ever want my life style. I reassure her that my life is fun, that I am young, and that it is worth it being here with Tyler during the season, rather than being apart. She sees how it is though, the behind the scenes life we live everyday. She knows that Tyler spends all day at the field and she knows all about eight-day road trips. She can't get over how much time I would normally spend alone if she weren't around. She's right, but I make the best of it. She also thinks my husband is soooo cute and that he is such a great man. She's right about that too. :) She goes with me to some of Tyler's games and is probably his biggest fan. I love to see her get so into the games, she loves it! Living here with her has been the greatest blessing. (Remember how I stated in Part 1 to stay tuned for Part 2?) This is it, she is our blessing! If we hadn't had started the season out in Clearwater, we would have never ran into this situation and we would have never met her! Everything happens for a reason, and God is so good!

Something else I want to mention...we don't pay a dime. It kills me. I try to give her money, I try to pay her utility bills, I buy things like toilet paper and laundry soap and I get scolded for it. She has really taken us in as if we were her own grandchildren. All she says she wants in return is for us to do the same thing for someone else when we are capable of doing it. I will never let that sentence die, and I cannot wait to pass on this blessing to someone else. She is truly an inspiration!



Friday, September 2, 2011

It's catch up time! Part 1

The season has practically come and gone, and let me be the one to tell you, it has never, ever flown by this fast! Only one more week left of regular season, unless we make play offs of course!! Let's play catch up...

I left off letting yall know our season would be starting out in Clearwater, Florida. A little disappointing at first, but Tyler and I kept ourselves positive and it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. (Stay tuned for Part 2)

Our living arrangements in Florida fell together very fast and consisted of the following: one apartment, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and six people - five of the players and myself. Not too crowded, right? Honestly, it wasn't at all and it led to some hilarious times! Two of the players each got their own bedrooms, while the other two slept out in the living room; one on a pull out couch, the other on an air mattress. Tyler and I got the master bedroom/bathroom. Since we had the extra space in our section of the apartment, we shared our closet and bathroom with one of the guys who slept out in the living room. He appreciated that a lot, but "since uh...you guys are married and all... " it also made him nervous. "Maybe you guys could put a sock on the doorknob as a signal, you know? That way I won't knock, I'll just know I can't brush my teeth at that moment." Oh gosh. It made me blush just enough, but mostly, it made us laugh. Thankfully, we never had to use a sock and we never ran into that kind of situation. (Insert sigh of relief here.)

Also while we were living in Clearwater, I got a job at the field. It was so great for me and such a blast! I scanned tickets, passed out programs, and helped with promotions, all while still being able to watch the games and see my husband pitch. (It also gave me the opportunity to go on the road trips, because when the team had away games, I had days off!) Tyler and I were both getting paid to be at the ballpark and nothing could top that. It was perfect... well close to it anyways. Word spread rather quickly about who I was, or should I say, who my husband was, and that was very new to me.

At the field, I like to be incognito. I'm way more relaxed and comfortable when no one knows who I am except for a select few, aka: the parking lot attendant, the person at the ticket window, the usher in my section, and maybe a couple season-ticket holders; all whom recognize me because I'm the girl that comes alone to a baseball game every single night. (I hope they realize I'm a wife and not just a poor, bored soul with no social life...or am I? ha!) Now just because I only like to be known by a select few doesn't mean I'm snobby. I actually love to smile at everyone and I say hi to most people I make eye contact with; what I love even more though, is knowing that all those people have no idea who I am. If, however, they find out "my secret" and approach me about it, I don't mind talking at all (for an inning or so), but I am not one to go around bragging because I do not want to bring any attention to myself at the stadium. Some might think I'm a bad wife when I say this, but I don't even cheer for my husband at the games. That's because one, I know how well he "clears the mechanism," so he won't hear my voice in a crowd anyways, and two, since I know he does that, it would only be bringing attention to myself by doing so. This, of course, is solely my opinion. I've met other girls who will yell and cheer on their "babe," or "baby," or "sweetie," or "sexy," or "insert pet name here." You get the point, it's very supportive, just not my style. Don't worry though, when we have kids of course I will let them cheer on their daddy. :) But until then, I sit rather quietly, rooting for Tyler in my head, listening to the fans around me, and clapping along with the rest of the crowd. I've become such a fan of the game by just sitting, watching, learning, and eating every night. :] Now back on topic...

I am fully aware that people are curious about our life behind the scenes; that's why I started this blog in the first place, hoping to fill people in on questions they might have, or circumstances they just don't understand. One thing that I'm learning quickly though, is how repetitive questions are becoming and how fast I have memorized my replies to every single one of them. Rarely do I get a new question, and if I do, pat yourself on the back because you have clearly just caught me off guard. Working at the field in Clearwater kept me busy answering the same questions over and over again. I absolutely loved working there and would do so again in a heartbeat, but you'd be surprised how many times I would overhear someone saying, "She's the player's wife," or asking around "Which one is the girl that's married to the player??" I really didn't mind it, but I was definitely not incognito anymore!

One time in Clearwater I remember being really caught of guard when Tyler was pitching and gave up a home run. A man came over to me and asked,
"Hey, isn't that your husband pitching?"
"Yes, it is." I replied, smiling with no teeth.
"I don't know why you're smiling after you just watched him give up a home run. He won't make it to Double A, let alone the majors giving up home runs in single A ball," he stated.
I thought quickly, smiled again and said, "Home runs are a part of baseball, even the best pitchers in the majors give them up."
The man looked at me stumped and walked away.
Idiot.


At first I was kind of taken back and got myself worked up about it in my head. Who did that guy think he was for searching me out and telling me that? If only I could find his wife and tell her that her husband is awful at his job and that he will never get promoted. I knew though that this was something I'd have to deal with in baseball. Once I told my husband about it, he had me laughing again. He brought back my confidence and helped me remember not to worry about what people say. That man's remark actually became our inside joke for a few days. We were out for dinner one night, and Tyler and I had both completely missed our mouths trying to eat. "Well," Ty said, "We're not going to make it to the majors eating like this!" We laughed so hard together. Little did that man know we would get the call to AA within two weeks of his conversation with me. It was June 1st...

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Temporary Setbacks


All right everyone, after the most stressful two weeks of my entire life, the rosters have been posted! FINALLY! Think I'm exaggerating? Okay, you're right, I am; but man did I have a lot of work cut out for me. We all know I'm a rookie at this whole baseball wife thing, so I definitely have a lot to learn still. However, from what I've been figuring out on my own so far is that, all I am really supposed to know is enough to know that I really know nothing at all. Still with me? :) That's because when it comes to baseball, nothing is ever a guarantee.

Last year, Tyler ended the season in Reading, PA, the AA affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies; we were hoping to start the season off there again. With that mindset, I began my search for apartments in Reading. I searched high and low and near and far, well, not too far from the field that is, in hopes to find quality housing. I spent hours doing my research and getting in touch with contacts the other baseball players kindly referred to us. I've realized referrals are really the only way to go, as it's not easy finding an apartment complex that will offer us everything we're requesting. I mean, the following doesn't seem like too much to ask for... right?

Location - a safe neighborhood, minutes from the field, shopping, restaurants, shopping, hotels, attractions, shopping, etc. Did I mention shopping?

Security - gated communities, controlled building access, parking security, etc. Basically as long as it's safe for the girls that stay behind during the dreadful eight-day road trips.

A pool - oops, how did that get on the list? That's just my own personal preference. :)

Short term or month-to-month lease - it seems almost unusual in the minors for a player to stay with the same team for a whole season. Even if that were the case, I would politely reply, "No, we don't want to spend the entire year in your town, thank you." Believe it or not, we actually like to get away from the field during the off-season!

Fully furnished - if not, we sleep on an air mattress and live out of a suitcase for six months. No big deal. Other options are Craigslist, Goodwill, and furniture rental companies, most of which I've found out give the baseball players discounts! Thank you to those companies!

Lastly and most importantly, all of the above as long as it is...

Affordable - aka as cheap as we can get it! What typically happens though, is that players will pack as many guys into one apartment together as possible. Think I'm kidding? Last year, I knew of eight players living in a three-bedroom apartment together! Yeah, insane! It's also pretty common to find three, four or five guys living together in a two-bedroom apartment. It might not be the most comfortable living situation, but it makes rent super cheap for each of them, which is exactly what they need. Remember when I mentioned all the sacrifices they make in order to make it to the big leagues? You can add living arrangements to that list.

After all the hours I spent researching, calling, and emailing places, I finally found two apartments that were perfect and willing to work with our unique situation! I also got in contact with a furniture rental company that was so good to us too! We then found players that actually wanted to live with a married couple, probably because they knew I planned on cooking for them, and things seemed good to go. Don't worry, we only planned on living with two or three other guys, not eight! Ha! I received the apartment applications and spent so much time filling them out. I decided I wasn't going to send them until we knew for sure where we would be going this year, because I didn't want to throw any money away via application fees. Good thing I'm so smart, kind of...

Turns out Tyler's name did not show up on the Reading roster, but instead on the Clearwater one. The Clearwater team is a step down from Reading, as it's only the High A affiliate of the Phillies. All is good though. Yes, Tyler was disappointed to be starting with a team lower than where he left off last year, especially since he just had the best spring training of his career, but we know it's just part of life in minor league baseball. We know to never lose faith when we encounter bitter disappointments, because they are simply the price we will have to occasionally pay for our willingness to take risks as we follow our dreams.

Tyler and I had a serious conversation the night before final cut day, and decided that wherever we end up this year is exactly where we are meant to be. We know that God created this world ready to unfold according to His own timetable, and not ours. Temporary setbacks might leave us feeling uncertain or doubtful, but we have to remember that God will always reveal Himself to us! In time, we might find out that a temporary setback isn't actually that at all, but just a different path for us to take. It can still be hard seeing that sometimes though when we find ourselves becoming impatient for the reasons behind things. We know to continue to trust in God because He will never fail.

Now, I'm not much of a preacher, I'm just trying to give you all a peak into our actual married life in minor league baseball. Truth is, things won't exactly be luxurious, serious conversation will have to happen, and low points are going to be unpredictable. With all of that said however, Tyler and I will continue to dream big! We've been having such a blast together and I can already tell I'm going to have the most amazing memories from traveling around with him. We have so much faith in God and I also have so much faith in my husband, that I know we have nothing but an intensely bright future ahead of us. I am so proud of Tyler and we are very thankful he still has the amazing opportunity to do what he loves to do! I am so excited for season to start this week, so Clearwater, here we come...I mean stay? Ha! And so, my search for apartments begins again! :)


Monday, March 21, 2011

Our Spring Training Schedule... and I'm Not Talking About Game Times


Spring Training (ST) 2011, you have truly been so good to me! Without you, I would not be having all of these crazy adventures and making all of these amazing memories! You are giving me so much to talk about, yet I can't seem to find enough time in our daily schedule to actually write. Luckily, today I have found time, but tomorrow you might keep me too busy yet again! There is just so much behind the scenes to this month than I ever thought possible.

I remember years prior, while Tyler and I were long distance, I would be so annoyed during the month of ST because Ty would always go to bed at eight or nine o'clock at night! I would call him an old man because, of course, only old people go to bed that early. Boy did I have an apology to make! Turns out, I have been quite the "old lady" this month, as I've been heading to bed right along side my husband at the same time! I would like to say I totally understand how he feels now, since I'm here and on the same schedule as him, but that would be a lie. I'm not the one out there playing baseball every day and working out in the sun like he does, however, I'm still finding myself wiped out by the end of it.

Our drive to the field now takes about 25 to 30 minutes, and Tyler and I only brought one car. Knowing that, and adding in the wonderful gas prices these days, we are not about to make that trip more times in a day than we actually have to. What does that mean for me? An early wake up call. You see, my cute husband just so happens to love being at the field super early! If he doesn't have to be there until eight o'clock in the morning, he will sure as heck be there at 6:30AM. Yeah, I call him crazy too! In reality though, I am very thankful for this character trait of his; it beats walking in the door late. With that said, I can't complain when every morning, like clock work (literally), the alarm goes off. Oh joy! Now for the behind the scenes look at our day...

It is 5:40AM and these are my first thoughts, "Oh my goodness, please don't let it be time to wake up again already!" Tyler turns off the alarm and we stay put for about ten minutes. I love this part because it's my opportunity to fall back asleep until he decides to roll out of bed. Once that happens however, I am wide-awake. Why you ask, when I am obviously not a morning person? Easy answer: we sleep on an air mattress. The sound of the mattress as he tries to get out of bed is loud enough in itself, but once he's actually up off the mattress, I find myself plunging half way to the floor! It gets me every time. How is it those darn things somehow always manage to deflate in the middle of the night, every night? While Tyler takes five minutes to get ready, I spend my five minutes trying to escape the sunken in air mattress. We get done about the same time and out the door we go. I do nothing to get ready, and let me tell you, I look like a lion. No worries, I have a bag packed in the car with all of my toiletries and an outfit for the day to get ready later. Tyler drives us in the morning while I attempt to sleep in the car. (Remember though, I am a passenger seat driver!) Once we make it to the field, I get my kiss goodbye and then jump into his seat as he exits the car. Where to now?

We figured out our own little system with the help of one of Tyler's teammates. You see, the minor league players, unless they bring their wife, are put up in a hotel by the field for the month of ST. Usually they place two guys to a room, but amazingly, one of Tyler's best friends has a room to himself with two queen size beds! He gave us an extra room key and told us it would be okay if I came to sleep there in the mornings. What a sweetie!

So here I go, driving on over to the hotel. I park the car, grab my bags and head for the lobby. The automatic doors open and, to my horror, I see a handful of Tyler's teammates heading in my direction! Why me!? I put my hand over my forehead as if the sun was in my eyes and scurry past them. Luckily, I make it to the elevator without a single one of them seeing me! Awesome! I push the button and wait for the doors to open, ready to dart in and slap the "door close" button immediately. Of course I'd be too busy thinking ahead to remember that people actually come off the elevator too. The doors open and I'm spotted! Dang it, here we go. The pointing and laughing begins, and man can these boys laugh loudly! I blush a little, okay, maybe a lot, duck my head and continue my walk of shame into the elevator as they all say, "Bye Tonya!" So it was a little embarrassing and I probably won't live it down, but now it's just part of the morning routine. I figure ducking is pointless, so now I just keep my head up and say hi to whomever I pass. No big deal. I make it up to the room and I am so happy knowing I'm about to go back to bed, not on an air mattress. Tyler's teammate is still sleeping, so I use my phone as a flashlight to find my way to the empty bed. By the time he gets up and heads out the door, I am already passed out and I will stay that way until game time; well, at least until housekeeping wakes me up or if I agree to doing laundry for the guys. I then get ready for my day and head to the field.

I pull up to the player's parking lot that says "lot full," and start freaking out when I realize our Phillies Parking Pass, that is supposed to be hanging from our review mirror, has somehow vanished! (Tyler later informed me, he had stashed it in the driver's side door compartment because a police officer told him hanging things from our review mirror was illegal. I obviously had no clue about this important information at the time.) So, I'm sitting there scrambling to find it, when all of a sudden, the parking lot attendant comes over to my window and says, "Hi dear! I saved you a spot up front today, I knew you'd be here." What a dear, sweet old man! He then tells me he knows I'm Tyler's wife and that he has been making an effort to recognize our car. I absolutely love the people who work around the baseball stadium; they are so good to us! I make sure to get very familiar with them because of instances like these. I thank him and pull in to park. From there, it's game time, which is a story of it's own. One of these days I will write about it, as it deserves a separate post. The gist of ST games is that they are all during the day under the hot, Florida sun. Being out there for three or four hours a day has me just about melting!! After a game, there are only two things I want to do: take a shower and head for bed.

Everyone usually gets done at the field around four o'clock and I am there, if needed, to take a few of them back to the hotel. I then have some time to myself to call family and friends while Tyler, along with a handful of other players, pack into one of their rooms to play video games. Silly boys! The guys staying at the hotel then get dinner for free, however Tyler and I are on our own. I pack up my things and we head home for the night. We have dinner, take showers, do laundry, and you guessed it, go to bed!

Okay so maybe our schedule for the month of ST isn't very tough, but it's just that, our schedule. Everyone thinks our life is a vacation, which to some it might be, but to us, there is actually some sort of routine. I've obviously made time for things I want to make time for: the beach, the Baseball Wives Luncheon I attended last week, and even a trip to Disney World here soon, but that's because I am blessed with the amazing opportunities to do so. When our family and friends come to visit us, we will be making exceptions to go out for a good time, but we are no tour guides. This is our life now and I really do love being on the same schedule as my husband. I want to support Tyler with everything I have and I am so happy doing so. The only thing that will make me happier is when season starts! That's when we can all sleep until noon because the games are at night, and we can all go out afterwards. I can't wait! Until then, I am still feeling very blessed and enjoying every minute of our spring training schedule! :)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Girls of Baseball


It's only been ten days since my last blog, and so much has changed! Tyler and I decided to move out of the house we were staying in. It just wasn't working out for us the way we had hoped. All is good though! We are now living with one of the baseball players and his wife in their brand new, beautiful home. It's already a lot easier for us because we are all on the same schedule. Plus, I have an awesome girl to hang out with while the boys are at the field! Hooray girl time!

The girls I've met along the way through professional baseball are like a family to me. It's so nice to relate to other women on such a variety of levels. The fact that we have gone through, or might possibly go through, a lot of the same things, keeps us a very tight-knit group. I always reach out to every new girl I see because it is so important to have someone to really talk to about the experience. I've realized these ladies, along with myself, are capable of way more than we ever thought possible through the ups and downs of this life style.

First, I'll talk about something as simple as the game itself. When our husbands/fiances/boyfriends have an amazing game, everything will be great! There will be fist bumps from all the players on the team, fans will be jumping for joy, we (the girls) will get all excited, and most importantly, we know it will be a great car ride home! The second something goes wrong however, it's quite a different story. Things will be thrown around in the dugout, fans will be rowdy because it's not just a game, yet we (the girls) will say over and over to each other, "It'll be ok, it's just a game," and yes, it will be a silent car ride home. Oh joy. :) Now of course we want the outcome to be a great game for our man, and a win for the team, but I have to tell you, either outcome can be pretty entertaining.

Now think about the girls who can't be at the games. We all have our reasons why we can't travel with our significant other, but no matter the reason, it's never easy. Almost always, the guys' schedules are complete opposite of the women back home. The women's schedule usually looks something like this: wake up around 6am for either work, school, or kids, then back to bed after a tiring day by around 10pm. The men's schedule looks something like this: wake up around noon, head to the field, game ends around 10pm, out to dinner with some of the players, and finally back home around midnight. What makes it even harder is when we are on different time zones. Obviously time for communication is limited but it can always be done. Another challenge about being apart is planning a visit to see him. At any point throughout the season, a player can be called up, sent down, traded, released, sent to rehab because of an injury, etc. The list seems endless when trying to plan a trip. It's hard to buy a ticket too far in advanced because we don't know where he will be a month, week, or even a day from now. The bad part is, the longer we wait to buy a plane ticket, the higher the price goes up! I have seen other girls go through it plenty of times including myself once: buying the ticket and finding out a short time later that our man gets moved. This situation leads to some stressful and pricy decisions. One reason I am so glad to be living with Tyler this year!

Another thing girls in baseball always go through at one point or another is an "identity crisis." :) Okay so maybe it's not an actual identity crisis, but it's a topic that usually comes up between new girls I meet. It's basically when people "forget" our name; that is, when we are no longer known by our first name, but by so-and-so's wife/fiance/girlfriend. It's the only way we will be recognized if nothing is done about it. Some women have a really hard time with it and will do all they can to separate themselves from that title. I, on the other hand, don't really mind. I know that what my husband does, does not define me. I actually think that being known as a baseball player's wife is a wonderful opportunity to set a good example. I feel that I can use this position in a good way and I am very proud of it. I know that the majors and the minors are completely opposite when it comes to being in the media spot light; however, no matter the baseball stadium, there will always be kids that look up to these players. The kids, along with their parents, sometimes think it's so cool just to meet a player's wife. Knowing that, when I have run-ins with these fans, I enjoy the opportunity to talk with them.

Lastly, I'll get right into the stereotype of a baseball player. The girls have heard it from everyone, so we know it's no secret. We get asked frequently, mostly by women, if we trust our husbands/fiances/boyfriends while they are away playing baseball. I, only speaking for only myself of course, simply reply with an honest answer, "Yes, I do trust my husband. In fact, I trust him 100 percent, no doubt about it!" This is because Tyler and I are at the point today where God is the foundation of our relationship; we put all of our faith in Him. Because of this, we have unconditional love for and trust in each other, and our communication couldn't be better! Tyler makes an incredible husband, as I do a wife. :) Enough about us though, I can be honest in saying that I find being asked about trust issues a bit rude. I've learned that a relationship can be absolutely perfect in the morning, but by the end of the night, couples can be fighting about issues that society has made up for them throughout the day. Example: trust. When these girls are constantly being asked if they trust their man, it will get inside at least one girl's head and cause problems in her relationship, even when there are no problems at all. I've seen it happen and it's hard to watch. I don't blame people in our society for reading in on the stereotype; I understand that it's out there. What I don't understand is why it's okay to ask someone questions like that. Imagine if I turned the tables on them and asked back, "So basically because my husband plays baseball and there are *cleat chasers, apparently means he has cheated/will cheat on me, but because your husband has a desk job, means he would never cheat on you? It's probably just because my husband has made a name for himself in baseball; therefore, he has a better chance of getting caught. Fortunately, you will never find out about your husband's cheating adventures on TV." How rude of me right?! (*Cleat chasers can be explained in the following article, you might have to copy and paste the link: http://fitperez.com/2011-01-09-reality-show-features-women-chasing-baseball-players Also, let me know what you think of this new reality show!) Of course I would never, ever be so rude to reply to a question like that. I will always answer honestly as I have stated above. It's just so hard for me to hear that other girls are getting asked if they trust their man, when in reality, some of them really are having these problems in their relationship. Don't make it worse for them, it is their business and no one else's.

As you can see, girls in baseball are tougher than most people assume. These were just four topics out of a never ending list of things we all go through. The girls I've met over the past couple of years are so strong and are such beautiful women inside and out.We don't always know what we are getting ourselves into, but we chose this life all in the name of love. :) As I've said before, the sacrifices we make, along with our man, are all because of the hopes and dreams of making it one day. If that is not the case for our future, it is sure a fun ride! At the end of each season, we all go our separate ways, but we always keep in touch. Now that spring training is fully underway, I am so looking forward to seeing all my girls again and I have already met amazing new women this month! The thing that I absolutely hate though is when we don't see each other again because of a trade, release, or break up. :( That can be super hard! All we can really do is keep in touch and keep our head up.

I have to tell you all that I am so excited to have gotten an invite to the 4th Annual Women's Spring Event for Women in Baseball in Florida. It's coming up on March 18th and I can't wait! It's a luncheon being held for the spouses, significant others and staff of Minor & Major League Baseball affiliated leagues, clubs and umpires. The day will include: seminars, roundtable discussions, speakers including MLB wives, a catered luncheon, and helpful resources. I will be sure to write a post about it!! Until then of course, I will always have more stories. :)

P.S. Because we moved, I had to quit my job at the cafe... oh darn. ha!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Joy of Going Broke

Ever feel like you're running out of money, poor, or going broke? Well, I'm totally feeling it. Thankfully though, Tyler and I are nowhere near that point because we’ve been saving and saving money! Not to mention all the gift cards from the wedding…so great! Sometimes however, we just can't help but be more aware of our expenses during certain periods of time. Example: Spring Training.

For the month of spring training, I will pretty much be the moneymaker. Tyler and I will still get money from the Phillies to help pay for our "living out" expenses, which means we’ll get just enough money to where we won't have to live in a tiny hotel room for the month. :) Unfortunately however, it’s not going to be enough to cover the $1,700.00 bill we just received to get our car fixed. :( Oh joy! Turns out cross-country driving took its toll on "my baby." So much for our tax return!

I'm sure you can tell now how thankful we are that I got the job at the cafe. Work is going pretty well for me at the moment; it's not hard, it's just not exactly the place I want to spend my time while in Florida. I know I’m blessed to have gotten the job so easily, and on top of that, conveniently, while Tyler isn’t in season yet, aka: not getting paid yet, so I definitely won’t be taking the income for granted. Here’s why…

The inside scoop is revealed: minor league baseball players don’t make much money. In fact, the biggest paycheck they will most likely see, unless they make it to the big leagues, is their signing bonus. That being the amount of money they sign for when they are drafted. It's true, some guys sign for five, six, even seven figures, but the majority of them do not. When it comes to the rest of the season, the players will, for the most part, make less than you yourself make every month. Pretty crazy knowing they are at the field sometimes more than twelve hours a day, seven days a week!

This is only one of the sacrifices they make for the chance to "make it" in baseball. People really envy Tyler because he gets paid to play a game. It makes sense and I completely understand because baseball is a game, but in our case, it is also his profession. There are many business decisions to be made along the way, and quite a few levels of baseball to advance from. Most people think there are only three levels in the minors: A, AA, and AAA. The real deal is as follows:

Rookie Ball

Short Season A

Low A

High A

AA

AAA

Majors

On top of these levels, there’s also spring training, fall instructional league, and winter ball; all places where a players’ every move on the field is on radar. Although hard work from these players is important, it doesn’t always ensure success or advancement, and it definitely does not ensure millions of dollars. What is does ensure for us however, is the opportunity to travel the country and experience different cities most people do not, to meet other wives, fiancés, girlfriends, families, coaches, and players (big league guys too) along the way that can relate to our lifestyle, to actually know what the inside world of baseball life is really like, and most importantly… to be able to watch a baseball game every night. :) I love the fact that I get to watch my husband do what he loves to do and share his dreams with him of making it to the big leagues. This lifestyle takes a lot of faith and a lot of sacrifice with no guarantee of making it, but at the end of the day, and no matter what our future holds, we will always have each other.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Spring Training or Bust!


We're here! We made it! All 1461.73 miles are now behind us! The 23 hour and 2 minute drive that MapQuest navigated out for us, only managed to take us five days. Ha! Not to worry, we chose that time frame. We stopped to visit family and friends along the way as we made our drive through eight states: Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, and finally Florida! Not just anywhere in Florida though, but the beautiful Clearwater, Florida... home to the Philadelphia Phillies Spring Training!

What a joy it was to step out of the car! Sure there was warm weather, ocean views, palm trees, and baseball, but the best part was being able to get more than two feet away from Tyler! Ok so maybe I should admit, Tyler is a much better road trip buddy than I am, as I only drove three hours of the entire trip! Not to mention, I am also a big time passenger seat driver! (I'm sure you can imagine how much fun that must have been for him.) :) In all seriousness however, we really had such a fun time together! We drove through a bit of snow, hit some rush hour traffic here and there, but managed to safely pass by the runaway truck ramps in the mountains...scary! The only other problem we really encountered was, let me think now, how would the American Idol judges put it? Oh that's right...the "You're so NOT going to Hollywood" voices that Tyler and I have, along with some dance moves that would make for a total fail in the auditions as well! Yeah, it was definitely a fun five days in the car together.

Luckily, our road trip is now over and we are all moved into our new room! Yes, you read that correctly... room. We found an amazing house on the water to live in for the month of spring training! Only exception: we share it with the family that lives here. Um? Is that supposed to be a problem? Alright, I might have been a little worried at first, deciding to move in with a family before we actually met them, but it turns out we made a great decision. We absolutely love it here and the family is great! They have two kids in their 20's, three dogs, nine bedrooms, a 150ft dock, and the view of an incredible sunset every night from the front porch! Even cooler, dolphins swim by regularly! Sure, there's a little downfall... we all share one shower, which happens to be an old fashion tub with a curtain around it. It's not really a challenge, just something new and different for us. Besides that, all is great right now! We are so blessed to have found this place, as we know we won't always be so fortunate with this lifestyle. Tyler is already away at the field every day working out, and I just got a job at a cute little cafe in downtown Dunedin. I only have to work two days a week and it's in walking distance, just two blocks away. Perfect! I'll spend the rest of my time laying out and also going to Tyler's games here soon. This week has definitely been a high point for us. :)


Monday, February 14, 2011

Ever Wonder What the Life of a Professional Baseball Player Would Be Like?


My guess is your mind just went racing with ideas like a luxurious life style, first class travel/hotels, top of the line restaurants, finest products, girls galore, and of course...BIG $$$! But! Let me ask you something else: If I had added the words, "in the minor leagues" to the question, would your idea of this life style change? Most of you now might say yes because you can see where I'm going with this. However, if you never truly understood the difference, you are in for some great stories! :)
Hi all! My name is Tonya Cloyd, and I am the wife to Tyler Cloyd. Tyler is heading into his fourth year of professional baseball with the Philadelphia Phillies. In three years so far, he has progressed his way from Rookie Ball, all the way up to AA.(I’ll make sure to tell you about the levels in the minors soon.) He is a right-handed pitcher and has been both a starter and reliever in his professional career. Tyler and I have been together for four years now, but only married for three months! We just got married this past off-season on November 12, 2010. We are kind of old fashion and chose not to move in together until we were married, so this will be our first season living together! We are so excited! Since this is my first post, I figure I will at least catch you up on our lives, and start from the beginning...enjoy! :)
Tyler and I met back when I was 17 and he was 19. (Today we are 21 and 23.) I graduated high school early, just three months after my seventeenth birthday, and started working morning customer service hours at a grocery store. I had to be to work at 5am and it just so happened, this totally cute guy, Tyler, was working the overnight shift there. We would always pass each other when I was walking into work, and he was leaving. It took awhile for me to get out of my shy stage, but we finally managed to start talking. Then one day he asked me out on a date! We went out for ice cream and totally hit it off. Tyler was such a great guy and had everything going for him that I was looking for in a husband. It wasn’t until a few dates later that some people came up to our table and asked him, “Hey man! How ya been? How’s baseball going?” I sat there wondering what the heck these people were talking about. They left and Tyler decided to tell me he was a baseball player. In all honestly, I thought nothing of it, except that maybe my dad would like him even more now, haha. Besides that, I really didn’t care; I knew nothing about baseball because I hated it, especially watching it. I still ended up telling my parents about what had happened, and my mom decided to Google him! Embarrassing right? :) She informed me that this boy was playing for the University of Nebraska at Omaha and that he was their ace-starting pitcher. I had no clue what that even meant so I just shrugged it off thinking, “Whatever, should I be impressed or something?” Tyler loved and laughed at the fact that I didn’t know a thing about baseball and that it just didn’t phase me. I had such a crush on this grocery store employee I knew, that I just decided to ask him to be my boyfriend myself! Gutsy move I know, but he said yes! :)
We dated for a whole year before we had quite the eye opener happen to us. In the 2008 MLB draft, the Philadelphia Phillies selected my boyfriend as their eighteenth round pick. “What?” I thought in shock. That was the year I found out that Tyler didn’t just play baseball, he seriously played baseball, in fact, this was now becoming his career.
We made it through a lot of ups and downs over the past three years, as choosing to be long distance was not an easy path to take - especially when your newly drafted boyfriend goes through a stage I liked to call, “big head syndrome.” Luckily, that faded and things only looked up for us. I moved to Denver for school to become a massage therapist, and Tyler played baseball, it worked for us. He proposed two years later and we were married in November. (So yes, I might have asked him to be my boyfriend, fortunately, he asked me to be his wife.) ha!
It is already spring training time again, and although years prior I would dread having to say goodbye, this year we look forward to spring training because I get to go with my husband for the first season ever! I can’t wait to share all my stories and adventures with you guys! I will let you know what life is really like for these minor league players and also keep you updated on where our journey takes us this summer. Thanks so much for reading, and stay posted!!
*Also, if you are interested in reading more stories from baseball wives, go to:
http://www.baseballwifeblog.com/