Temporary Setbacks

All right everyone, after the most stressful two weeks of my entire life, the rosters have been posted! FINALLY! Think I'm exaggerating? Okay, you're right, I am; but man did I have a lot of work cut out for me. We all know I'm a rookie at this whole baseball wife thing, so I definitely have a lot to learn still. However, from what I've been figuring out on my own so far is that, all I am really supposed to know is enough to know that I really know nothing at all. Still with me? :) That's because when it comes to baseball, nothing is ever a guarantee.

Last year, Tyler ended the season in Reading, PA, the AA affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies; we were hoping to start the season off there again. With that mindset, I began my search for apartments in Reading. I searched high and low and near and far, well, not too far from the field that is, in hopes to find quality housing. I spent hours doing my research and getting in touch with contacts the other baseball players kindly referred to us. I've realized referrals are really the only way to go, as it's not easy finding an apartment complex that will offer us everything we're requesting. I mean, the following doesn't seem like too much to ask for... right?

Location - a safe neighborhood, minutes from the field, shopping, restaurants, shopping, hotels, attractions, shopping, etc. Did I mention shopping?

Security - gated communities, controlled building access, parking security, etc. Basically as long as it's safe for the girls that stay behind during the dreadful eight-day road trips.

A pool - oops, how did that get on the list? That's just my own personal preference. :)

Short term or month-to-month lease - it seems almost unusual in the minors for a player to stay with the same team for a whole season. Even if that were the case, I would politely reply, "No, we don't want to spend the entire year in your town, thank you." Believe it or not, we actually like to get away from the field during the off-season!

Fully furnished - if not, we sleep on an air mattress and live out of a suitcase for six months. No big deal. Other options are Craigslist, Goodwill, and furniture rental companies, most of which I've found out give the baseball players discounts! Thank you to those companies!

Lastly and most importantly, all of the above as long as it is...

Affordable - aka as cheap as we can get it! What typically happens though, is that players will pack as many guys into one apartment together as possible. Think I'm kidding? Last year, I knew of eight players living in a three-bedroom apartment together! Yeah, insane! It's also pretty common to find three, four or five guys living together in a two-bedroom apartment. It might not be the most comfortable living situation, but it makes rent super cheap for each of them, which is exactly what they need. Remember when I mentioned all the sacrifices they make in order to make it to the big leagues? You can add living arrangements to that list.

After all the hours I spent researching, calling, and emailing places, I finally found two apartments that were perfect and willing to work with our unique situation! I also got in contact with a furniture rental company that was so good to us too! We then found players that actually wanted to live with a married couple, probably because they knew I planned on cooking for them, and things seemed good to go. Don't worry, we only planned on living with two or three other guys, not eight! Ha! I received the apartment applications and spent so much time filling them out. I decided I wasn't going to send them until we knew for sure where we would be going this year, because I didn't want to throw any money away via application fees. Good thing I'm so smart, kind of...

Turns out Tyler's name did not show up on the Reading roster, but instead on the Clearwater one. The Clearwater team is a step down from Reading, as it's only the High A affiliate of the Phillies. All is good though. Yes, Tyler was disappointed to be starting with a team lower than where he left off last year, especially since he just had the best spring training of his career, but we know it's just part of life in minor league baseball. We know to never lose faith when we encounter bitter disappointments, because they are simply the price we will have to occasionally pay for our willingness to take risks as we follow our dreams.

Tyler and I had a serious conversation the night before final cut day, and decided that wherever we end up this year is exactly where we are meant to be. We know that God created this world ready to unfold according to His own timetable, and not ours. Temporary setbacks might leave us feeling uncertain or doubtful, but we have to remember that God will always reveal Himself to us! In time, we might find out that a temporary setback isn't actually that at all, but just a different path for us to take. It can still be hard seeing that sometimes though when we find ourselves becoming impatient for the reasons behind things. We know to continue to trust in God because He will never fail.

Now, I'm not much of a preacher, I'm just trying to give you all a peak into our actual married life in minor league baseball. Truth is, things won't exactly be luxurious, serious conversation will have to happen, and low points are going to be unpredictable. With all of that said however, Tyler and I will continue to dream big! We've been having such a blast together and I can already tell I'm going to have the most amazing memories from traveling around with him. We have so much faith in God and I also have so much faith in my husband, that I know we have nothing but an intensely bright future ahead of us. I am so proud of Tyler and we are very thankful he still has the amazing opportunity to do what he loves to do! I am so excited for season to start this week, so Clearwater, here we come...I mean stay? Ha! And so, my search for apartments begins again! :)

The Girls of Baseball

It's only been ten days since my last blog, and so much has changed! Tyler and I decided to move out of the house we were staying in. It just wasn't working out for us the way we had hoped. All is good though! We are now living with one of the baseball players and his wife in their brand new, beautiful home. It's already a lot easier for us because we are all on the same schedule. Plus, I have an awesome girl to hang out with while the boys are at the field! Hooray girl time!

The girls I've met along the way through professional baseball are like a family to me. It's so nice to relate to other women on such a variety of levels. The fact that we have gone through, or might possibly go through, a lot of the same things, keeps us a very tight-knit group. I always reach out to every new girl I see because it is so important to have someone to really talk to about the experience. I've realized these ladies, along with myself, are capable of way more than we ever thought possible through the ups and downs of this life style.

First, I'll talk about something as simple as the game itself. When our husbands/fiances/boyfriends have an amazing game, everything will be great! There will be fist bumps from all the players on the team, fans will be jumping for joy, we (the girls) will get all excited, and most importantly, we know it will be a great car ride home! The second something goes wrong however, it's quite a different story. Things will be thrown around in the dugout, fans will be rowdy because it's not just a game, yet we (the girls) will say over and over to each other, "It'll be ok, it's just a game," and yes, it will be a silent car ride home. Oh joy. :) Now of course we want the outcome to be a great game for our man, and a win for the team, but I have to tell you, either outcome can be pretty entertaining.

Now think about the girls who can't be at the games. We all have our reasons why we can't travel with our significant other, but no matter the reason, it's never easy. Almost always, the guys' schedules are complete opposite of the women back home. The women's schedule usually looks something like this: wake up around 6am for either work, school, or kids, then back to bed after a tiring day by around 10pm. The men's schedule looks something like this: wake up around noon, head to the field, game ends around 10pm, out to dinner with some of the players, and finally back home around midnight. What makes it even harder is when we are on different time zones. Obviously time for communication is limited but it can always be done. Another challenge about being apart is planning a visit to see him. At any point throughout the season, a player can be called up, sent down, traded, released, sent to rehab because of an injury, etc. The list seems endless when trying to plan a trip. It's hard to buy a ticket too far in advanced because we don't know where he will be a month, week, or even a day from now. The bad part is, the longer we wait to buy a plane ticket, the higher the price goes up! I have seen other girls go through it plenty of times including myself once: buying the ticket and finding out a short time later that our man gets moved. This situation leads to some stressful and pricy decisions. One reason I am so glad to be living with Tyler this year!

Another thing girls in baseball always go through at one point or another is an "identity crisis." :) Okay so maybe it's not an actual identity crisis, but it's a topic that usually comes up between new girls I meet. It's basically when people "forget" our name; that is, when we are no longer known by our first name, but by so-and-so's wife/fiance/girlfriend. It's the only way we will be recognized if nothing is done about it. Some women have a really hard time with it and will do all they can to separate themselves from that title. I, on the other hand, don't really mind. I know that what my husband does, does not define me. I actually think that being known as a baseball player's wife is a wonderful opportunity to set a good example. I feel that I can use this position in a good way and I am very proud of it. I know that the majors and the minors are completely opposite when it comes to being in the media spot light; however, no matter the baseball stadium, there will always be kids that look up to these players. The kids, along with their parents, sometimes think it's so cool just to meet a player's wife. Knowing that, when I have run-ins with these fans, I enjoy the opportunity to talk with them.

Lastly, I'll get right into the stereotype of a baseball player. The girls have heard it from everyone, so we know it's no secret. We get asked frequently, mostly by women, if we trust our husbands/fiances/boyfriends while they are away playing baseball. I, only speaking for only myself of course, simply reply with an honest answer, "Yes, I do trust my husband. In fact, I trust him 100 percent, no doubt about it!" This is because Tyler and I are at the point today where God is the foundation of our relationship; we put all of our faith in Him. Because of this, we have unconditional love for and trust in each other, and our communication couldn't be better! Tyler makes an incredible husband, as I do a wife. :) Enough about us though, I can be honest in saying that I find being asked about trust issues a bit rude. I've learned that a relationship can be absolutely perfect in the morning, but by the end of the night, couples can be fighting about issues that society has made up for them throughout the day. Example: trust. When these girls are constantly being asked if they trust their man, it will get inside at least one girl's head and cause problems in her relationship, even when there are no problems at all. I've seen it happen and it's hard to watch. I don't blame people in our society for reading in on the stereotype; I understand that it's out there. What I don't understand is why it's okay to ask someone questions like that. Imagine if I turned the tables on them and asked back, "So basically because my husband plays baseball and there are *cleat chasers, apparently means he has cheated/will cheat on me, but because your husband has a desk job, means he would never cheat on you? It's probably just because my husband has made a name for himself in baseball; therefore, he has a better chance of getting caught. Fortunately, you will never find out about your husband's cheating adventures on TV." How rude of me right?! (*Cleat chasers can be explained in the following article, you might have to copy and paste the link: http://fitperez.com/2011-01-09-reality-show-features-women-chasing-baseball-players Also, let me know what you think of this new reality show!) Of course I would never, ever be so rude to reply to a question like that. I will always answer honestly as I have stated above. It's just so hard for me to hear that other girls are getting asked if they trust their man, when in reality, some of them really are having these problems in their relationship. Don't make it worse for them, it is their business and no one else's.

As you can see, girls in baseball are tougher than most people assume. These were just four topics out of a never ending list of things we all go through. The girls I've met over the past couple of years are so strong and are such beautiful women inside and out.We don't always know what we are getting ourselves into, but we chose this life all in the name of love. :) As I've said before, the sacrifices we make, along with our man, are all because of the hopes and dreams of making it one day. If that is not the case for our future, it is sure a fun ride! At the end of each season, we all go our separate ways, but we always keep in touch. Now that spring training is fully underway, I am so looking forward to seeing all my girls again and I have already met amazing new women this month! The thing that I absolutely hate though is when we don't see each other again because of a trade, release, or break up. :( That can be super hard! All we can really do is keep in touch and keep our head up.

I have to tell you all that I am so excited to have gotten an invite to the 4th Annual Women's Spring Event for Women in Baseball in Florida. It's coming up on March 18th and I can't wait! It's a luncheon being held for the spouses, significant others and staff of Minor & Major League Baseball affiliated leagues, clubs and umpires. The day will include: seminars, roundtable discussions, speakers including MLB wives, a catered luncheon, and helpful resources. I will be sure to write a post about it!! Until then of course, I will always have more stories. :)

P.S. Because we moved, I had to quit my job at the cafe... oh darn. ha!

The Joy of Going Broke

Ever feel like you're running out of money, poor, or going broke? Well, I'm totally feeling it. Thankfully though, Tyler and I are nowhere near that point because we’ve been saving and saving money! Not to mention all the gift cards from the wedding…so great! Sometimes however, we just can't help but be more aware of our expenses during certain periods of time. Example: Spring Training.

For the month of spring training, I will pretty much be the moneymaker. Tyler and I will still get money from the Phillies to help pay for our "living out" expenses, which means we’ll get just enough money to where we won't have to live in a tiny hotel room for the month. :) Unfortunately however, it’s not going to be enough to cover the $1,700.00 bill we just received to get our car fixed. :( Oh joy! Turns out cross-country driving took its toll on "my baby." So much for our tax return!

I'm sure you can tell now how thankful we are that I got the job at the cafe. Work is going pretty well for me at the moment; it's not hard, it's just not exactly the place I want to spend my time while in Florida. I know I’m blessed to have gotten the job so easily, and on top of that, conveniently, while Tyler isn’t in season yet, aka: not getting paid yet, so I definitely won’t be taking the income for granted. Here’s why…

The inside scoop is revealed: minor league baseball players don’t make much money. In fact, the biggest paycheck they will most likely see, unless they make it to the big leagues, is their signing bonus. That being the amount of money they sign for when they are drafted. It's true, some guys sign for five, six, even seven figures, but the majority of them do not. When it comes to the rest of the season, the players will, for the most part, make less than you yourself make every month. Pretty crazy knowing they are at the field sometimes more than twelve hours a day, seven days a week!

This is only one of the sacrifices they make for the chance to "make it" in baseball. People really envy Tyler because he gets paid to play a game. It makes sense and I completely understand because baseball is a game, but in our case, it is also his profession. There are many business decisions to be made along the way, and quite a few levels of baseball to advance from. Most people think there are only three levels in the minors: A, AA, and AAA. The real deal is as follows:

Rookie Ball

Short Season A

Low A

High A

AA

AAA

Majors

On top of these levels, there’s also spring training, fall instructional league, and winter ball; all places where a players’ every move on the field is on radar. Although hard work from these players is important, it doesn’t always ensure success or advancement, and it definitely does not ensure millions of dollars. What is does ensure for us however, is the opportunity to travel the country and experience different cities most people do not, to meet other wives, fiancés, girlfriends, families, coaches, and players (big league guys too) along the way that can relate to our lifestyle, to actually know what the inside world of baseball life is really like, and most importantly… to be able to watch a baseball game every night. :) I love the fact that I get to watch my husband do what he loves to do and share his dreams with him of making it to the big leagues. This lifestyle takes a lot of faith and a lot of sacrifice with no guarantee of making it, but at the end of the day, and no matter what our future holds, we will always have each other.