Friday, August 24, 2012

Newly Drafted?


I'm fully aware it's now August and that I'm running a bit behind on my blog.  I have a lot I've been working on, but I wanted to get this post out sooner than the others. That's because throughout the month of June, I took notice that I was getting a lot more visitors viewing my blog than normal.  From the collection of traffic sources I was able to see, my conclusion is that many of those newcomers would have to be either the players or girlfriends involved in the 2012 First-Year Player Draft, which took place the first week of June.  Because of this, I thought I'd take some time to write a quick post about our experience and the emotions Tyler and I went through when he was first drafted. Maybe some can relate, maybe none at all, but here's what happened to us, along with some advice for those who are new to the baseball life…

EXCITED
It was June of 2008 when Tyler, my boyfriend of just over a year at the time, unexpectedly received a phone call stating he'd been selected by the Philadelphia Phillies in the eighteenth round of the 2008 draft.

It was five minutes later when we took this adorably, silly picture:
We were young, in love, and thrilled beyond belief! Can you tell?
I'm sure anyone can see that from viewing this photo, but as I look back at it, I remember even more from that captured moment in time: the confidence, excitement, joy, and trust…the most worry-free moment of our entire lives!  The moment where "Better Life," by Keith Urban became a favorite song.  The moment where the title, Professional Baseball Player, became a reality. The moment where being proud and feeling accomplished became a complete understatement.   The moment where life simply became more awesome.  This is how it was, as this is how it should have been. We were proud dreamers, truly living in the moment with an incredibly naïve outlook on Ty’s new adventure in life.

SCARED
As soon as the draft was over, things became real for us.  We learned the cold, hard truth that Tyler was 21 years OLD; he was not a high draft pick, and he did not receive a big signing bonus. He was not an overnight sensation in the sports world and the Major Leagues were nowhere in sight. He would sign his contract knowing that this childhood game was now a business in the real world, and that the scout that had just signed him was already out working on finding the next player better than Tyler. We learned that signing a contract means pretty much signing your life away (i.e. springs, summers, falls, weddings, vacations, holidays, family reunions, etc.) and reporting to your team immediately.  We also learned that worrying about money anytime in life prior to your first minor league paycheck was simply hilarious...as in now was the time to begin worrying.  But most of all, we learned that the “seeing each other everyday” relationship you once had, has just promptly turned into “a daily phone call” relationship, which sometimes didn't even seem possible due to being on different schedules in different time zones; therefore, we learned that a long distance relationship was not exactly going to be easy.

CONFUSED
 We were trying to make our relationship work, when word began to spread back home that Ty had recently been drafted. All of a sudden that boyfriend of mine went from a nobody to a somebody. People that I had never even heard of before were coming out of the woodworks claiming they were Tyler's friends. Friends? People were constantly telling me that I was so lucky. Lucky? People began rumors that Tyler would be in the big leagues soon.  Soon?
What?
No.
Those people didn't know.
No one knew.
 But should I tell them that?
What would I say?
"Excuse me, but you're all wrong.  Being drafted does NOT mean you go to the big leagues within a couple months.  Being drafted means riding on crappy buses to crappy towns, to play on crappy fields and stay at crappy hotels, while spending your crappy paychecks on crappy food, and having no time at all to deal with your now crappy relationship.  Oh and by the way, you're not his friends."
Right babe?
Babe? 
Oh no...

ANGRY
My boyfriend was falling for it…that hometown fame, woodwork friends nonsense.  I understood that people would be proud of him, but I was not prepared for how too much of it could affect Tyler, myself, and our relationship.  I diagnosed Ty with a bad case of big head syndrome and became completely disgusted by his new cocky attitude.  I tried so hard to bring him back down to Earth but nothing was working.  I didn't like the boy I was dating anymore, so of course, I didn't like hearing about him from other people.  I'd spend all day forcing myself to smile when everyone wanted to talk about how awesome life must be for us, and then I'd spend all night full of anger towards Ty and cry myself to sleep. I was only 18 years old trying to figure everything out and keep it all together, not wanting to accept the fact that he and I weren't on the same page anymore. I thought maybe if I could just see him then everything would be all right again, but deep down I knew that wasn’t the case. I was tired, hurting and becoming very, very bitter.  One day, over our daily phone call, we finally just broke up…
______________

So now, let’s comprehend all of that.
Not the ending you were expecting, or did you see the break up coming?  Why?  Did anyone notice how key words throughout our season changed drastically?  I sure did.  Take another look:

Young, excited, joy, confidence, trust, worry-free, proud, dreamers, naïve, old, scared, contract, business, worry, difficult, long-distance, confused, angry, disgusted, hurting, bitter.

It was real, it was stressful, and it was emotionally exhausting; it was our first year in the baseball life.

As Tyler and I reflect back on that time in our lives, we immediately recognize where we went wrong and remember what it took to get to where we are today, that being four baseball seasons later and happily married for almost two already! :)
(That of course, you can read about in other posts, as this one is strictly about rising above the negative elements during your transition to this lifestyle.)

So, back on topic…

Tyler and I ended up spending an entire year broken up to really refocus on ourselves as individuals.  It gave us time to figure out what we wanted and what we were truly missing in our lives. During that process, it just so happened a movie came out titled, Fireproof; or as we like to call it, “our movie.”

My husband and I are exceptionally grateful for this movie, as it changed our lives forever.  We are also exceptionally grateful for God’s incredible timing; we feel so blessed that Fireproof was released during a time in our lives when we needed it most.  The message this movie revealed to us was the sole purpose of why Tyler and I yearned to be together again.  By that, we didn’t want to just give our old relationship another go, in hopes of it maybe working out a second time around. No. This time we wanted to start a completely new relationship.  This relationship would not only include Tyler and myself, but also, God; in fact, this relationship would be centered around God.

Realistically, Tyler and I already knew God before watching this movie since we were both brought up in the church.  However, church is only a fraction of what makes up our society, and frankly, our society makes it difficult to bring church and God into the dating scene and juvenile relationships. Unfortunately, the world of baseball doesn’t make it any easier; in fact, it has the possibility of making it even harder.  With the pressures, temptations, demands, & expectations, it’s effortless to turn away from God and get caught up in all the hype.

Understanding that baseball was still going to be Tyler’s career, we knew we needed to find support from people who understood what we were going through.  After some personal research (because of course they didn’t tell us about this when Ty was drafted, although maybe they tell you nowadays?), we were able to find a couple organizations that would do just that:  Pro Athletes Outreach and Baseball Chapel.   

Check out this section from the Vision of Pro Athletes Outreach:

We have a unique understanding of the world of pro athletes (defined as the athlete and their spouse, if married) because we are pro athletes. We appreciate both the inherent opportunities for influence as well as the challenges posed by being a pro athlete today.  We understand that the typical career span of a pro athlete is short and that the financial and public profile in athletics is unique.
We also understand that the pro athlete “micro-environment” exists within the context of the much broader “macro-environment” of our ever-changing culture and world, which are both drifting further and further away from God and His Word.

We recognize the challenges of integrating faith, family, and career as a pro athlete today. We know that a life in the spotlight can be toxic to the soul. We understand that pro athletes tend toward isolation and encounter a decreasing number of places they can go and people with whom they can be themselves. We understand that over time, if left unchecked, the glory bestowed upon pro athletes today can shift their focus toward that which perpetuates their public image at the expense of their real self. We understand that pro athletes naturally become skeptical of everyone they meet and question the real motivations and interests of others. We understand that pro athletes tend toward a sense of entitlement because the world of pro sports indulges their every want and need. We understand that pro athletes easily come to place their own value in their role as an athlete and struggle to break free from that sense of performance- or identity-based value. We understand that the spouses of pro athletes face unique challenges related to loneliness, isolation, distortion of identity, and a social environment – including friends and church – that does not provide them the safety to be wholly authentic. 

You see, they get it, and through them, you can meet other couples in baseball that want to stay on track the same way you do.  (There are a ton of Major and Minor League couples involved in this, so don’t think you’re the only ones!)  Same goes for Baseball Chapel; here’s what they do:

Baseball Chapel is an international ministry recognized by Major and Minor League Baseball and is responsible for the appointment and oversight of all team chapel leaders.

It's great! Team chapel leaders are at the ballpark every Sunday to hold services for the players and their spouses.  They also hold Bible studies and have daily devotionals that you can receive via email.  Having service at the field on Sundays is also nice because sometimes baseball schedules get in the way of your regular church. 

Now, I’m not a preacher or a spokesperson for either of these organizations, so if you’d like to find out more, you can visit their websites (posted at the end of this post along with the Fireproof trailer).  On the other hand, if you're not into any of this at all, that's fine too. I’m just hoping that I can shed some light on what these organizations have to offer for any of you newcomers that might not know about them. I know Tyler and I would have loved to know about these during our first year!  

________

Remember... Being drafted is a really big deal and should be a very exciting time in your lives.  Just know that if you catch yourself or your relationship a little off track, you can always turn to these support systems in baseball to help better yourselves as men, women, and couples, on and off the field. 







http://www.pao.org/
http://www.baseballchapel.org/