The Girls of Baseball

It's only been ten days since my last blog, and so much has changed! Tyler and I decided to move out of the house we were staying in. It just wasn't working out for us the way we had hoped. All is good though! We are now living with one of the baseball players and his wife in their brand new, beautiful home. It's already a lot easier for us because we are all on the same schedule. Plus, I have an awesome girl to hang out with while the boys are at the field! Hooray girl time!

The girls I've met along the way through professional baseball are like a family to me. It's so nice to relate to other women on such a variety of levels. The fact that we have gone through, or might possibly go through, a lot of the same things, keeps us a very tight-knit group. I always reach out to every new girl I see because it is so important to have someone to really talk to about the experience. I've realized these ladies, along with myself, are capable of way more than we ever thought possible through the ups and downs of this life style.

First, I'll talk about something as simple as the game itself. When our husbands/fiances/boyfriends have an amazing game, everything will be great! There will be fist bumps from all the players on the team, fans will be jumping for joy, we (the girls) will get all excited, and most importantly, we know it will be a great car ride home! The second something goes wrong however, it's quite a different story. Things will be thrown around in the dugout, fans will be rowdy because it's not just a game, yet we (the girls) will say over and over to each other, "It'll be ok, it's just a game," and yes, it will be a silent car ride home. Oh joy. :) Now of course we want the outcome to be a great game for our man, and a win for the team, but I have to tell you, either outcome can be pretty entertaining.

Now think about the girls who can't be at the games. We all have our reasons why we can't travel with our significant other, but no matter the reason, it's never easy. Almost always, the guys' schedules are complete opposite of the women back home. The women's schedule usually looks something like this: wake up around 6am for either work, school, or kids, then back to bed after a tiring day by around 10pm. The men's schedule looks something like this: wake up around noon, head to the field, game ends around 10pm, out to dinner with some of the players, and finally back home around midnight. What makes it even harder is when we are on different time zones. Obviously time for communication is limited but it can always be done. Another challenge about being apart is planning a visit to see him. At any point throughout the season, a player can be called up, sent down, traded, released, sent to rehab because of an injury, etc. The list seems endless when trying to plan a trip. It's hard to buy a ticket too far in advanced because we don't know where he will be a month, week, or even a day from now. The bad part is, the longer we wait to buy a plane ticket, the higher the price goes up! I have seen other girls go through it plenty of times including myself once: buying the ticket and finding out a short time later that our man gets moved. This situation leads to some stressful and pricy decisions. One reason I am so glad to be living with Tyler this year!

Another thing girls in baseball always go through at one point or another is an "identity crisis." :) Okay so maybe it's not an actual identity crisis, but it's a topic that usually comes up between new girls I meet. It's basically when people "forget" our name; that is, when we are no longer known by our first name, but by so-and-so's wife/fiance/girlfriend. It's the only way we will be recognized if nothing is done about it. Some women have a really hard time with it and will do all they can to separate themselves from that title. I, on the other hand, don't really mind. I know that what my husband does, does not define me. I actually think that being known as a baseball player's wife is a wonderful opportunity to set a good example. I feel that I can use this position in a good way and I am very proud of it. I know that the majors and the minors are completely opposite when it comes to being in the media spot light; however, no matter the baseball stadium, there will always be kids that look up to these players. The kids, along with their parents, sometimes think it's so cool just to meet a player's wife. Knowing that, when I have run-ins with these fans, I enjoy the opportunity to talk with them.

Lastly, I'll get right into the stereotype of a baseball player. The girls have heard it from everyone, so we know it's no secret. We get asked frequently, mostly by women, if we trust our husbands/fiances/boyfriends while they are away playing baseball. I, only speaking for only myself of course, simply reply with an honest answer, "Yes, I do trust my husband. In fact, I trust him 100 percent, no doubt about it!" This is because Tyler and I are at the point today where God is the foundation of our relationship; we put all of our faith in Him. Because of this, we have unconditional love for and trust in each other, and our communication couldn't be better! Tyler makes an incredible husband, as I do a wife. :) Enough about us though, I can be honest in saying that I find being asked about trust issues a bit rude. I've learned that a relationship can be absolutely perfect in the morning, but by the end of the night, couples can be fighting about issues that society has made up for them throughout the day. Example: trust. When these girls are constantly being asked if they trust their man, it will get inside at least one girl's head and cause problems in her relationship, even when there are no problems at all. I've seen it happen and it's hard to watch. I don't blame people in our society for reading in on the stereotype; I understand that it's out there. What I don't understand is why it's okay to ask someone questions like that. Imagine if I turned the tables on them and asked back, "So basically because my husband plays baseball and there are *cleat chasers, apparently means he has cheated/will cheat on me, but because your husband has a desk job, means he would never cheat on you? It's probably just because my husband has made a name for himself in baseball; therefore, he has a better chance of getting caught. Fortunately, you will never find out about your husband's cheating adventures on TV." How rude of me right?! (*Cleat chasers can be explained in the following article, you might have to copy and paste the link: http://fitperez.com/2011-01-09-reality-show-features-women-chasing-baseball-players Also, let me know what you think of this new reality show!) Of course I would never, ever be so rude to reply to a question like that. I will always answer honestly as I have stated above. It's just so hard for me to hear that other girls are getting asked if they trust their man, when in reality, some of them really are having these problems in their relationship. Don't make it worse for them, it is their business and no one else's.

As you can see, girls in baseball are tougher than most people assume. These were just four topics out of a never ending list of things we all go through. The girls I've met over the past couple of years are so strong and are such beautiful women inside and out.We don't always know what we are getting ourselves into, but we chose this life all in the name of love. :) As I've said before, the sacrifices we make, along with our man, are all because of the hopes and dreams of making it one day. If that is not the case for our future, it is sure a fun ride! At the end of each season, we all go our separate ways, but we always keep in touch. Now that spring training is fully underway, I am so looking forward to seeing all my girls again and I have already met amazing new women this month! The thing that I absolutely hate though is when we don't see each other again because of a trade, release, or break up. :( That can be super hard! All we can really do is keep in touch and keep our head up.

I have to tell you all that I am so excited to have gotten an invite to the 4th Annual Women's Spring Event for Women in Baseball in Florida. It's coming up on March 18th and I can't wait! It's a luncheon being held for the spouses, significant others and staff of Minor & Major League Baseball affiliated leagues, clubs and umpires. The day will include: seminars, roundtable discussions, speakers including MLB wives, a catered luncheon, and helpful resources. I will be sure to write a post about it!! Until then of course, I will always have more stories. :)

P.S. Because we moved, I had to quit my job at the cafe... oh darn. ha!